Where Were You
by PsychLockMutant
Summary: Long-ish one shot about what happens when Leo isn't there. Warning: Character Death No T-Cest.


**Hello all! Thank you guys so much for the lovely reviews on **_**Not a Psychopath**_**. I really appreciate them. Special thanks to owlcroft for being my first review ever and posting my story to a community. I wouldn't have even thought of that. Not sure if this is too soon to post another story, but here it is! Constructive criticism is always loved and desired; please tell me if you notice any grammar mistakes. Thanks and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT. I love it though.**

**Warning: Darker fic/Character death**

**Italics: **_Flashbacks_

Raphael sat alone on the couch. He didn't even remember most of what had happened, but what he did remember was what he wished he would forget.

"_Raph, help!"_

"_Where is he?"_

"_Donnie, look out!"_

Everything was sort of a blur. Facts and faces were swirling around in his head. He was thinking bad thoughts and even worse thoughts. He didn't understand what had happened and what was happening. He knew he should be topside, actually doing something. But he couldn't.

He hated the world, hated the bad people, and hated himself. He wished he was dead. He had a pretty nasty wound on the right side of his plastron; he wished it had gone deeper.

"_You stuck up, overbearing, controlling pig! I can fight ten times better than you any day of the week! Why do I need extra training?"_

"_I'm not singling you out, we ALL need more training! But you need to work on your temper in combat. It distracts the rest of us, and it makes you lose focus!"_

"_That's not true and you know it! You just want to pick on me and seem like an angel to Master Splinter. Why did he even make you leader?"_

"_Raph… That was a low blow even for you. Fine, have it your way! I'm going topside; call me when we can have a civil conversation!"_

Leo trudged into the lair, ready to (sort of) apologize to Raph. He had meditated on an empty rooftop and had had time to think about his "conversation" with Raph. He peeked into Donnie's lab, expecting to see him hard at work on some new experiment. It was empty. He turned around and saw Raph sitting on the couch. He was just staring at the wall, eyes glazed over and unfocused. Leo took a deep breath and said, "The TV does work ya know."

Raph jumped a little at the sound of Leo's voice but didn't say a word.

"Raph, I'm…" Leo trailed off, finally seeing Raph's wound. "Raph, what happened?! Where are Donnie and Mikey?"

Raph seemed to come out of his haze; he jumped off the couch and stood only a couple inches from Leo's face. Teeth clenched, mouth barely open, he snarled, "Where were you?"

Leo blinked at him, fear welling up inside him, "I was…meditating…on a rooftop...trying to...think about- Raph what happened?" Leo's stomach was churning; he feared Raph's answer.

"What happened? WHAT HAPPENED? You weren't there, Leo! You left and Donnie tried to call you but you didn't answer so we had to go without you!" Raph took a deep breath and swallowed. He lowered his voice and asked, "Why didn't you answer? Where were you?"

"I…was…meditating… Where are Mikey and Donnie, Raph?"

"Mikey's unconscious in his room. Nasty bump on the head, but he'll be fine."

Leo's heart sank. Fear was welling up inside him, and he nearly choked on his words, "And…and Donnie?"

Raph thought he was going to kill Leo right then and there. But he didn't. Raph thought he was going to cry, burst into tears right then and there. But he didn't. He simply stated, "Dead."

"_Why does he have to be right all the time? Some leader…" Raph was using a dumpster as a punching bag. _

"_Chill out, dude! Have some pizza. It's jelly bean and anchovy!" Michelangelo held a pizza box under Raph's nose._

_Raph sighed. "Thanks, Mikey." He took a slice of pizza. "Donnie, you have a location on any mutagen yet? I need some action!"_

_Donnie opened his T-phone and pressed a few buttons. "No I don't….Wait scratch that, we've got four distinct mutagen signals clustered together heading the same direction."_

_Raph jumped off the dumpster. "Kraang! Let's go!"_

_Mikey gently placed the pizza box in the dumpster. "I'm so sorry. You deserved better than this, jelly beans. Goodbye, anchovies! We shall never meet again but I will think of you often!" Mikey wiped away a tear._

"_Shouldn't we call Leo, Raph?"_

"_Yeah, I guess. But do it on the way; we've got some Kraang butt to kick!"_

Leo's head was spinning; he felt sick to his stomach. He couldn't focus on anything.

Donnie. Dead. Kraang. Donnie. Fighting. Dead. Leaving. Mikey. Donnie. Dead. Raph. Angry. Dead. Donnie. Donnie. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Donnie. Dead!

Leo collapsed onto the couch. It was his fault. He hadn't been there. He was the leader. He should have been there. "The Kraang killed Donnie?"

"No. That's what we thought too. But it wasn't the Kraang, it was…" Raph took a shaky breath and locked eyes with Leo. "The Shredder."

Shredder. Donnie. Dead. Fighting. Leaving. Dead. Donnie. Shredder. Donnie. Dead!

"We tried calling you again and again and again, Leo! You didn't answer; you left us alone. Where. Were. You."

"Raph…I'm so sorry…I was angry and…" Leo takes a deep breath. Leo thought he was going to burst into tears right then and there. But he didn't. Leo thought he might kill himself right then and there. But he didn't.

"_Donnie, where is he?"_

"_I don't know he's not answering!"_

"_Raph, help!"_

"_Mikey!"_

"_Donnie, look out!"_

"You abandoned us. Donnie's gone. Mikey's hurt, and I can't even look at you anymore. Get out."

"Raph-"

"No, Leo! You were supposed to be our leader, you were supposed to be our friend, and you were supposed to be our brother. But you weren't there for us. Our family's falling apart because of you! What will master Splinter say? What will Mikey say? He doesn't know yet. What am I supposed to tell him?"

Raph wanted answers Leo didn't have. Leo wished with everything he had that he was dreaming, that he could go back and undo everything, and most of all that Donnie was alive. But he was awake, he couldn't go back in time, and Donnie was dead.

Leo was falling apart. It was his fault and he couldn't handle it. He was the dependable one, the strong one. He needed to know what to do, but he didn't.

Leo heard a sound behind him and spun around. Mikey stumbled out of his room, clutching his head. "Oh, hi Leo. Raph, what happened?" Mikey barely got these words out before he had to fall on the couch.

Leo lost it. His younger brother wanted to know what happened. What happened was that he had left. His family was in danger and he wasn't there for them. Raph was bearing the brunt of the responsibility, Mikey was injured, and Donnie was dead.

Leo thought he was going to leave and never come back. And he did. Leo thought he was going to spend the rest of his life hunting the Shredder. And he did. Leo thought Raph was going to forgive him and let him come back home. But he didn't.

**Thanks for reading guys! This was longer than I originally anticipated, so I hope it was alright. This is my second story so still go easy on me! Please review! Even if you didn't like it, constructive criticism is needed to improve my writing. Thanks again! Review! **


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